But where should I start?

When the world around us seems to collapse – and I don't even mean on a global scale but our own life that often brings us enough tough things we have to deal with – what can we do? We so desperately cling to trying to control things we do not actually have control over.

But there is one thing we can learn to control, no matter the outside circumstances: Our own mind. If we do not learn how to rein in our negative thoughts, we might end up on a very dark road that for some might have a devastating ending. But how do we go about this? That was something I tried to find out over the last year. I wanted to get out of pure survival mode and start to enjoy life. I also was afraid to one day wake up and see, that I maneuvered myself into a full blown depression.

What I did first was taking a look at my life. Over a few weeks I looked closer at the things that felt good and that did not. I became aware of what gave me energy and what sucked it away. I saw that some foods triggered anxiety-like responses in my body and that I was way more likely to be impatient with my child if I spent time scrolling on my phone. I could see that social media made me breathe shallow and made my heart rate go up and my body tense, even though my feed was mostly positive. And I saw that EVERY. SINGLE. TIME. I went outside, I felt better afterwards. Even if I just took a few deep breaths on the way to the trashcans.

And then I slowly implemented changes. I do not have the time, will, spoons or executive functioning to make a year long or even month long plan that I then follow perfectly, to make things better. I am a single mum living abroad with my neurodivergent child and two cats and that is NOT an easy way of life.

Also: I can see that my cycle heavily influences many things – from my energy levels, to my patience, my happiness, needs and cravings for foods and even mental and physical strength and energy. And since I am in perimenopause with slightly changing cycle lengths, it feels impossible to make longterm plans. So I had been winging it all of last year.

This year, for the purpose of this blog and also to get even better results than last year, I want to go a bit more structured, but with enough room for working with my cycle.

But if you want to find out what makes you feel good and what doesn't, just start by watching yourself for a while. Take a full week or a month and look at your life. If you have a menstrual cycle, it might help to watch yourself for a full cycle, to find out what you need and when.

In theory it is smart to take notes, but if you for example have ADHD or small kids your attention might be so scattered that it can be hard to take notes. I sometimes did take notes and then lost the paper somewhere, then just forgot about the whole thing because life was just being life.

Please: if that happens, do NOT beat yourself up for it. Stay free of judgment. You are here to get better and every tiny step into the right direction is worthy of being celebrated. Take your mind away from the things you did not manage and look to the things you did manage.